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I guess it makes sense to talk about the worst garbage in a pretty garbage-ass year, right? So here we are again, dredging up the sludge from the bottom of gaming’s trench, finding a bunch of skeletons and nuclear waste and whatever the hell Randy Pitchford dumped in there. Enjoy!

[While we did separate lists before discussing the Gremmies on the podcast, the final winners, as seen in the images, were agreed upon, and our separate lists are here for… Transparency? Sure, let’s go with that.]

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Hey, we’re back! You know, like We’re Back: A Dinosaur’s Story. It’s exactly like that, because we’re a couple of freakin’ dinosaurs that have no place in the modern era. Anyway, after an experiment in video-podcasting the Gizmos, and then straight-up not doing them last year, here’s a return to form. If you’d like to hear us discuss this year’s categories, including reading some of the below text out loud for some reason, head over here for the Golden Gizmos podcast (and here for the Gremmies!). Now, with the re-introduction out of the way, it’s time… For the TWENTY-NINETEEN GOLDEN GIZMOS! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!!! George and I have compiled separate lists this year, so this is going to be A Lot, especially since George apparently thought he needed to write an entire damn page for every entry. Strap in.

NOTE: Games released in November or December of this year are eligible for next year’s Gizmos. This includes titles such as Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, MechWarrior 5, and… I think that’s it, really, we played everything else.

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In October of 2012, then Gawker released a tape of Hulk Hogan (real name Terry Bollea) having sex with Heather Clem. Following the tape’s release, Hogan sent a cease-and-desist order demanding that the footage be removed, which was promptly ignored. Gawker Media founder Nick Denton claimed that publishing the video was protected under the first amendment, and Hogan subsequently took Gawker Media to court for invasion of privacy.

Today, the jury in that case ruled in favor of Hogan, awarding him $115 million in damages, $15 million more than his initial sought after value. It’s worth noting that in 2014, Gawker’s estimated revenue for that business year was only $45 million, which makes the 115 million figure pretty devastating. This also helps set a firmer line between publishing video footage that violates one’s privacy against freedom of speech.

Hogan was emotional when the verdict was read, sobbing happily. Nick Denton was also emotional, reportedly in shock when he heard the ruling. Unsurprisingly, representatives for Gawker are already talking about filing an appeal.

Update 3/22/16: Punitive damages in the sum of $25 million have now be awarded to Hogan, with $15 million coming from Gawker and $10 million coming directly from Nick Denton’s pockets.

He may look as though he lacks Iwata's childlike enthusiasm, but just wait until you get Kimishima around some puppets and bananas.

He may look as though he lacks Iwata’s childlike enthusiasm, but just wait until you get Kimishima around some puppets and bananas.

Hey, it’s been a while. How have you been? I’ve been good, playing a whoooole lot of MGSV. You know what has nothing to do with MGSV though? Nintendo.

That’s right! I’m just as shocked as you are.

Speaking of Nintendo, the company has finally named its fifth president: Tatsumi Kimishima, who will be taking over for Shigeru Miyamoto and Genyo Takeda – who have been overseeing the company on a temporary basis since Iwata’s passing. Kimishima’s time at Nintendo has seen him preside over several departments, including Human Resources and Corporate Analysis & Administration.

Kimishima is expected to fully assume the presidency on September 16th. Until then, I assume, he’s playing MGSV. I mean, that’s what everbody is doing, right?

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Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A celebrity makes an ill-advised joke that a bunch of people take way way too seriously. Fast forward a little bit, and the “internet justice” machine shames said celebrity off Twitter.

Well, that’s the exact problem facing Troy Baker, who has quit Twitter after a ton of backlash over a dumb joke he tweeted about Caitlyn Jenner. The tweets have all been removed, but the one that kickstarted the whole fiasco went something like this:

“Brett Michaels looks like Mickey Rourke tried to become Caitlyn Jenner.” – @BrianWFoster

— Troy Baker (@TroyBakerVA)

Hey, so you might notice that Troy Baker didn’t actually write that joke about Caitlyn Jenner, but quoted somebody else who made the joke. Evidently enough people didn’t notice that because Troy had to follow it up with “It’s a shame when there are people who would much rather choose to be offended than laugh,” and “I quit Twitter.”

If you walk away from this story with anything it should be this: Twitter is a cesspool of dumb assholes who read way too deeply into things people write in 140 characters or less.

If you’re one of the very few people who put eyes on the last Witching Hour once it was uploaded to Youtube, you might have noticed it was mostly sound effects. Apparently I set things up wrong in OBS, and the whole thing was a disaster. Because of this, I’ll be re-streaming some HnG tomorrow at 5pm (EST) on The Witching Hour’s Hitbox channel. With any luck, I won’t experience near constant crashes with the game as I have been for the last few hours, but considering what a hot quality product this free-to-play WW2 is, I’m making no guarantees.

Expect whatever I get to be archived on our youtube channel shortly after the stream.

This coming week I’ll be streaming some of the recently released PC port of GTAV. You can check that out at Midnight (EST) on Monday.

There is no escape.

There is no escape.

Not to be deterred by the grizzly launch of Assassin’s Creed: Unity, or the insistence by many that maybe the franchise should take some time off, Ubisoft has double-downed on the series, announcing that Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China will be followed up by two more games to round out a trilogy.

Chronicles: Russia and Chronicles: India will play in the same 2.5D style as China, and are also being developed by Climax Studios alongside Ubisoft Montreal. Russia will take place during the Red October revolution, with India centered around the Sikh Empire.

Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China will drop on April 21st for the PC, PS4, and Xbox One, though no release dates are set for Russia or India.

Each will sell for 10 dollars, but it’s ok if you don’t want to feed the beast anymore. I won’t hold it against you.

Someone needs to tell Scott it’s ok to take a break. Five Nights at Freddy’s 3, which only got a teaser trailer a few weeks ago, and was announced only shortly before that, is now up on Steam for a cool 8 bucks.

Stay tuned when next week Scott announces Five Nights at Freddy’s 4, because c’mon. We all know that’s how this’ll go down.

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Not determined to ever take a break, Scott Cawthon has announced that Five Nights at Freddy’s 3 is a thing that’s in development. This comes according to both a teaser up on Scott’s website, and an automated response from Scott’s e-mail:

“Five Nights at Freddy’s 3 is in production! Please do not email me asking any questions about it; NO questions about FNaF3 will be read or answered!”

Nothing else is  known about the sequel at this time.